Leaders Don't Know It All

 

Effective leaders know and embrace the fact that they will not always have all the answers.  Additionally,  they will surround themselves with people who obviously know more about some things than they do.

In his classic book, The Magic of Thinking Big, David Schwartz shares this story about Henry Ford:

One time Henry Ford was involved in a libel suit with the Chicago Tribune. The Tribune had called Ford an ignoramus, and Ford said, in effect, “Prove it.”
The Tribune asked him scores of simple questions such as “Who was Benedict Arnold?” “When was the Revolutionary War fought?” and others, most of which Ford, who had little formal education, could not answer.
Finally he became quite exasperated and said, “I don’t know the answers to those questions, but I could find a man in five minutes who does. (1)

... and Ford built an automobile empire.  You man have heard of it... it's called the Ford Motor Company!  

Ford understood that he did not have to have all the answers and did not need to know everything, he just needed to know where and how to find the information.

Far too many people in positions of leadership fail to understand that effective leaders are best when they bring out the best in others.  If the leader don't know something and someone else on their team does, they want to tap into that expertise.  This does two things: first, it provides the missing information and, second, it boosts the self worth of the person who was asked.  People are far more apt to contribute if they feel appreciated and are empowered to step forward without the risk of being ignored or worst, berated.

Strong effective leaders tap into the collective knowledge, talent, and expertise of each individual team member in order to strengthen the entire team!
 

(1) Excerpt From
The Magic of Thinking Big
David J. Schwartz
https://books.apple.com/us/book/the-magic-of-thinking-big/id917780006

 

Leaders know, go, and show

 

When done right, leadership is a complex practice that has a simple road map.

1) A Leader knows the way: the leader sets the vision and direction for the team and the organization and is thinking and planning way ahead of the crowd.  The effective leader is thinking five to ten years in the future and planning on how to get there.  The effective leader can not only create a vision for the future, they can develop a plan on how to get there.

2) A leader goes the way: once the leader has created the vision, communicated the vision and developed the plan, they set out to implement the vision and the plan.  The effective leader takes action.  They are task oriented and model a strong work ethic.  They are doers!

3) A leader shows the way: not only does the effective leader take action, they bring their team along with them.  They bring the team together and, by their example, shows the team how the vision and plan can be implemented.

By following this simple road map, the complex practice of leadership can net amazing results!

Leadership is NOT a Title of Position

More and more, far too many people aspire to positions of leadership for all the wrong reasons.  They seek power and authority and personal dominance.  They are into what academics call position power.  The American Psychological Association (APA) Dictionary defines 'position power' as:

a capacity to influence others based on their acceptance that the influencer occupies a formal position in the organization or group that gives them the right to make decisions and to demand compliance. In other words, the power is associated with the position itself and is not dependent on the person in that position.

This is NOT leadership.  I would argue that anytime someone uses their position, and only their position, to compel and/or mandate that something get done or that a certain direction be taken, they are not leading.  Effective leaders who occupy a position of authority do not need to use their position to see that things get done.  They use their influence that has been built over time through trust and respect (see my post from two days ago).

I believe that people who aspire to a position of authority simply to gain position power fall into one of two categories:

1) They are terribly insecure.  For whatever reason, they have a deep seeded inferiority complex fueled by severe insecurities and a lack of self image and self worth.  They need the position to validate their existence and are extremely threatened by anyone who dares to challenge them.  They hide all of this under the cloak of the title.  "Do it because I said so: I am the _________ (fill in the position title)."  They either have chosen not to develop as a leader or are so deeply insecure that they truly believe that they cannot develop the skills that we know effective leaders possess.

2) They are blatantly Narcissistic.  Everything, and I mean EVERYTHING, is about them.  They are what matters and the organization and its members are merely tools to be used to achieve personal gains.  Sadly, we see this in every arena of leadership whether it's politics, business, education, coaching, ministry, etc.  The first line in Rick Warren's #1 best selling book (all time sales are second only to the Holy Bible) A Purpose Driven Life is "It's not about you.".  It is just the opposite for this type of person.  It IS all about them.  Everything revolves around them, and if you get in their way or cross their path, they are ruthless in chopping you down and doing everything in their power to destroy you.

Both of these cases lead to highly dysfunctional organizations.  I have seen it over and over, both as an insider who suffered the pain of lack of leadership by both of these types and as an outside observer watching an organization impose from lack of leadership because of both of these types.  The wrong person ascends to an organizational position that needs a committed strong leaders and the organization falters, the culture becomes toxic, the best and brightest leave, and those who remain withdraw and switch into survival mode.  Eventually the organization implodes and either dissolves or takes years to recover.  In either case, it is a blatant lack of effective leadership caused by a person gaining a position for all the wring reasons.

The truly effective leader is the antithesis of the person who seeks a title for position power.

 

Listening as a Leadership Skill

Have you ever had a conversation with someone for whom you worked and you just knew they were not listening to you?  They were physically in the room with, you but it was obvious that their mind and attention were a million miles ways.  Or, perhaps, they were listening, but not to hear you and understand but to better prepare their comeback and reply to you.  In either case, you leave disheartened and frustrated.  We have all been there.  

Much has been written about listening as a skill, the role listening plays in the communication process (my late wife would often tell me that she did not want me to do anything when she was venting, she just wanted me to LISTEN!), and the role of listening in leadership.  A nice article on the subject is here.  My purpose here is not to provide a tutorial on listening nor to provide one of the many step by step processes for active listening.  You can look that all up.  My purpose is to just emphasize the fact that leaders NEED to listen, really LISTEN.  Too many don't!

  

 

Yesterday I wrote about respect.  Listening, real listening, is a sign of respect to another person.  As we covered yesterday, respect is earned.  One giant step toward that is developing the skill and habit of listening.  Hear and understand what people are sharing with you.  Discern what it is that they want or need.  Not everyone wants you to fix something.  Some just want to be heard.  But, those who DO want you to fix something need to leave feeling that they have been heard.  I frequently use the example of a former supervisor of mine.  I did not always agree with the decision that was made (that is just leadership), but I ALWAYS felt heard.  I never left a conversation felling like I had been blown off, just humored, or completely ignored.  When people feel heard, they feel empowered, even if the outcome does not go their way.

 

There are several tried and true best practices that leaders can employ to help them better understand and to let people know that you are really listening to them:

 

1) Take Notes (if appropriate)  Depending on the context of the conversation, writing things down so you don't forget and so the person you are talking with sees that you are taking them seriously is a great practice.

 

2) Repeat back what you just heard.  I have to admit that I used to struggle with this one.  "What I heard you say is that..." always sounded too scripted and formula driven for me.  I was wrong.  While I personally adjust the wording, repeating what you think you just heard does two things: a) it communicates that you were in fact listening, and b) it verifies the information that you received.  Over the years there have been many times that I have done this only to have the other person tell me that I really got it wrong.  This gave them the chance to clarify what it was that they wanted to communicate and gave me the opportunity to REALLY understand what they were saying to me.

 

3) Ask them "What is it you need from me?"  This does a couple of things: a) it clearly clarifies what it is that they want.  Frequently I have asked this only to have the other person tell me "Oh nothing, I just needed to get it off my chest." and b) it gives both of you a clear path forward and defines next steps.  This gives you the opportunity to respond in a positive manner and set expectations.  This is very powerful in that both of you leave without any false expectations of what should happen next.

 

In summary, in order to be effective, leaders must listen.  Listening does not necessarily mean acquiescence, but acknowledgement that they have been heard and that they are valued.  As a leader, you must not only value the members of your team, you must let them know that you value them.  Listening to them is a great first step!!
 

Leaders Must Earn Respect in order to Lead at a High Level

After too long of a hiatus, I am back.  A dear friend inspired me to jump back into this blog due to a casual conversation we were having about leadership and the idea that much of it boils down to respect.  I agree! 

I am sure that most of us have worked with and/or for 'leaders' who held a position but garnered little to no respect.  If you have read my previous posts on this blog, or if you know me and have read other things that I have posted and written, you know that I feel strongly that too many people in positions of leadership are not really leaders at all, but are just occupying a position for personal, professional, and/or financial gain.  Those motives don't gain respect.

 

Respect is that thing that is necessary for leaders to have to be highly effective.  Respect cannot, I repeat CANNOT, be demanded.  I must be earned.  A leader who has the respect of their people is unstoppable.  The leader who does not have the respect of their people is done before they even start.

Respect comes from relationships, from a person's character, and from a person's work ethic (sound familiar?... if not go back and review my previous posts on the Trilateral Leadership Ledger).  

A word of caution.  Respect does not necessarily mean affection.  Just because you like someone does not mean that you respect them, and vise versa.  Both are nice and optimal, but at the end of the day, respect is far more important.  We all have had colleagues and supervisors who we really liked but really did not respect.  I would argue that affection is nice, respect is necessary!  As a leader you need to earn the respect of your team in order to lead them, support them, and move the team forward.

So, how does one earn respect?  I would posit that it is not that hard.  Step one is to give respect.  If people feel respected they are far more likely to want to perform at an optimal level and they will return the respect.  Step two, have character.  For this, review my previous discussion on character where I was unpacking the TLL.  Step three, just be real.  Be approachable, be authentic, be caring, and above all, be yourself.  People can spot a phony a mile away.  None of us are perfect and we all have areas where we need to grow and improve.  Let your team know that you are aware of this and are working every day to grow and improve.  That is how you earn respect, but only if you are sincere!

 

Relationships Make You or They Break You

 

I have written repeatedly on the importance or having the ability to build positive relationships.  It is essential.  I did a series of posts unpacking Relationships in my discussion of Brady and Woodward's Trilateral Leadership Ledger.

I believe, as Maxwell states, that your relationships, or lack thereof, will make you or break you.  I know that personally there are things that I have done over the course of my career that I didn't particularly want to do, but, I did them due to the relationship that the person asking me to do it had built with me.  I did it for them, not for the organization or for the sake of the task.  It was the relationship that made the difference.

Sadly, too many leaders equate positive relationships to smiles and superficial kind words.  While they are important, we all have know people who were 'nice' and yet you would not go out of your way to cross the street to greet them.  We also all have known and worked with toxic people.  They were abrasive, rude, cold, and mean.  Not a great formula for building a positive relationship.  In both cases, building a meaningful relationship with them would be, at best, a challenge.

The inability to establish a meaningful relationship can happen for a variety of reasons.  Relationships require trust.  Relationships require genuine caring.  Relationships require communication.  Relationships require  authenticity.  Relationships require time.  And the list goes on.  A lack, or violation, of any one of these can damage a relationship, often beyond repair.  Relationships can be fragile and require hard work.  The effective leader understands that building a relationship is a long term process, not a short term event.  It is a marathon, not a sprint.

Frequently people will ask, "Can I really learn to be a leader?".  I believe the answer is a resounding YES!  The next question is the essential question..."How?".  I would argue that the first step is to get very good at building authentic, meaningful, lasting relationships.  That will set you on road to effective leadership development and will truly make you or break you!

Encouraging People

 

 

 

Encouraging People is the next quality that Brady and Woodward include in the Trilateral Leadership Ledger's factor of Relationships.

The Merriam-Webster Online Dictionary defines encouraging as: giving hope or promise.

Effective leaders understand the value of encouraging the members of their team.  People want and need a cheerleader, an advocate, and someone who truly believes in them and their abilities.

In her book Balcony People, Joyce Landorf Heatherley presents two types of people: Balcony People (affirmers) and Basement People (evaluators).  In reverse order, the Basement People, or evaluators are quick to criticize and find fault.  Nothing is ever good enough and no one can do it right.  They are constantly negative and pessimistic. Given a choice, people would rather not be around them.  On the other hand, the Balcony People, or affirmers, are quick to offer sincere praise and encouragement.  They always look for the good (and inevitably find it) in every situation.  They are positive and optimistic.  They are a people magnet as they make others feel good about themselves.

Effective leaders are Balcony People, plain and simple!

The effective leader will encourage, nurture, and support everyone on their team.

Chris Brady & Orrin Woodward: "Launching a Leadership Revolution."  Business Plus. New York. p.97