The Key to Successful Leadership is Influence

There is widespread consensus that influence is a, if not the, key component to successful leadership.  If leaders do not have influence, they cannot lead and, as John C. Maxwell so accurately states, the leader with no followers is merely going for a walk.  I have discussed this previously in a number of different posts.  I do not intend to repeat that conversation here and beat the proverbial dead horse.

The questions should be asked, though, if leadership requires and is influence, how does one gain that influence?  That is the essential question that I will unpack here.

To gain influence, the leader must achieve a number of things.  

First, they must build relationships.  I have discussed this in depth in my earlier discussions on Brady and Woodward's Trilateral Leadership Ledger.  Relationships are essential to effective leadership and leaders cannot have influence without a positive relationship with the people with whom they work.  Building relationships takes time and effort and can be a difficult process.  It is; however, worth it in the end as positive relationship create a healthy work environment where people want to be and want to contribute.

Second, they must build trust.  Stephen M.R. Covey wrote a whole book on this (Speed of Trust) in which he discusses at length the factor of trust.  Trust covers so many facets when discussing effective leadership.  I have discussed this too in relationship to character when discussing the TLL. It weighs in heavily when discussing relationship building, and it is a key component of loyalty, which is vital to influence.

Finally (for this conversation only... there is so much more) to gain influence you need to be nice.  That may seem a bit Pollyanna and too touchy-feely for some people, but think about it.  Think about the people whom you allow to have influence over you.  Are they mean or mean spirited?  Are they angry all the time?  Are they hot headed and unpredictable?  Probably not.  I know the people whom I allow to have influence over me (allowing influence is a choice... that is separate discussion) are none of the above.  They are nice people.  They are relatable and deeply care about others and will put the needs and successes of others ahead of their own.  They make you want to be around them!

Authority does none of the above.  While it can be argued that position power and authority yield a great deal of influence, I would argue that it is not, in fact, influence but rather manipulation.  People are manipulated by fear of the negative consequences and fear of retaliation from the authority figure if they do not comply with the wishes and demands of the person in the position.  At best, this only garners short term results that do not create a positive lasting effect.  This in not influence!

Successful leadership comes from influence which comes from relationships, trust, and just being nice to people.  As the old proverb states, you can catch more bees with honey than you do with vinegar!

Effective Leaders are NOT Ego Driven

 

Effective leaders check their ego at the door.  We all have an ego, it is only natural.  The key here is that effective leaders are focused on the vision, the culture, the health of the organization and, most importantly, the people before their own self interests.  Their ego takes a back door.

I have quoted this before, but it is so apropos here...in his best selling book The Purpose Driven Life, Rick Warren opens with "It's not about you." (p 17), and it's not.  Too many people who have leadership positions are so ego driven that they cannot see the good of the organization past their own self-interests.  It is the antithesis of Warren's statement; it is all about them.  They see everything through a lens of self-serving cause and effect. 

Unfortunately, these individuals are so caught up in feeding their own ego that they are blinded to the successes that occur which they did not initiate or orchestrate.  Success, to them, is only measured by how an event or activity serves and promotes their individual agenda and advancement.  They can't, or won't, recognize and celebrate the successes initiated by someone else.  If they were not responsible for it, it is of no consequence to them.  Sad!!

The effective leader celebrates successes regardless of their source.  In fact, they are thrilled when success results from the ideas and efforts of someone else because it has a positive effect on the organization and it is a sign of growth and development of a colleague and team member.  They get sincere satisfaction from the successes of others.

Effective leaders make a conscience effort to NOT place their ego at the forefront of everything and to NOT view everything in relationship to their own ego.  The effective leader will inevitably have a bruised ego from time to time, but they are willing to sacrifice their ego for the advancement and celebration of others!

To be an effective leader, you need to check your ego at the door!

Leadership is an Action

 

I have repeatedly posited that just because one has a title or position, that does not make them a leader.  A title or position is a job; leadership is an action.  There are several memes that compare the difference between a boss (someone with a position) and a leader.  This one was recently posted by a colleague of mine for whom I have the utmost respect.  It does a great job of clarifying the distinction:

When I cross paths with someone who is a 'boss' and not a leader my emotions run from indignant frustration to sincere sympathy.  I become frustrated with their anti-leadership actions that are unproductive and destructive.  I then morph into sadness when I consider what could be if a capable leader were at the helm.  Finally, I reach a point of sympathy for the person as it becomes obvious that they either can't or won't recognize how their behavior and actions are destroying any chance that they have for success.  Further, the loss of potential for the team and the organization creates an almost morose attitude.  When sharp capable team members are constantly marginalized and put down, they either withdraw into an unhealthy mode of avoidance or they leave.  In either case, the organization suffers from the blatant lack of leadership.

There is not an arena today that does not need strong, enlightened, capable, caring leaders.  There is a huge need.  What is needed is for true leaders to step up and commit to changing a crippled broken organization.

Bosses destroy.  Leaders build.  Be a leader!

Leaders Know When to Apologize

 

 

Effective leaders know when to apologize.  I think the vast majority, if not all, of us would agree that none of us are perfect and we all make mistakes at one point or another.  And yet, we have all encountered that individual who either can't, or won't, bring themselves to admit that they were wrong and then say the simple words "I'm sorry".

This is a fatal flaw for a leader.  The leader who can't, or won't, apologize when they are wrong loses credibility, and loses it very quickly.  People don't trust them because they give off the aura that they are never wrong. That just does not provide the foundation for building a strong, positive relationship.  Effective leaders will apologize when they are wrong.  I will take that a step further and say, and many may disagree with this, that effective leaders will be in a position where they need to apologize even when they are not wrong.

Randy Pausch, of "The Last Lecture" fame, laid out a very simple and effective road map for leaders to follow in his three steps to an apology:

1) Admit that 'What I did was wrong'. 

This flies in the face of the narcissistic 'leader' who is only focused on themselves and sees the world through an 'I am always right' lens.

2) Sincerely share that 'I'm sorry that I hurt you".

This is an important step.  We have all dealt with people who even when they admit they were wrong, are not sorry about it.  Their attitude is 'suck it up cup cake!',

3) Ask 'How do I make it better?'  

Or in other words, 'What can I do to fix this?'.  Many times just the act of asking goes a long way.

The key to all of this is sincerity.  In most cases, an insincere apology is worse than no apology at all.  

Effective leaders understand these key principles: When you are wrong and when you make that inevitable mistake, admit it, regret it, and fix it!

Leaders Grow Others

 

We've all been there.  We work with and/or for that 'leader' who is only concerned with their own advancement and their own agenda.  They have little to no concern for the growth of others.  In most cases, they will give it lip service, but when it comes right down to it, they are in it for themselves.  At best this is discouraging; at worst it is infuriating.

Highly effective leaders are just the opposite.  They truly care about the growth, advancement, and success of others; and... their actions show it.  When needed, they will always put the needs of others before their own needs.  John. C. Maxwell calls this the Law of Sacrifice: The heart of good leadership is sacrifice. (1)  The effective leader will sacrifice their own agenda and self interest for the good of others.

And yet, too many people who ascend to positions of leadership see their subordinates as merely tools to use to them where it is they aspire to be.  They will sacrifice others to get where they want to be and will not hesitate to throw others under the bus to save themselves and advance their own agenda!  They have no regard for the consequences of their actions nor the negative impact that it may have on others.  They are self absorbed and do not, even if they verbalize otherwise. care about the people with whom they work.

True leaders are others focused! Their whole agenda is to see how they can best support others and help them advance and be successful.  The idea of holding them back or treating them unfairly or poorly is foreign to them to the point that they will do everything in their power to advocate for their team members.  They will sacrifice themselves and their agenda for the sake and well being of others.

Zig Zigler said it best when he stated:

 

Effective leaders understand this and invest in others to help them get what they want!

(1) Maxwell, John C., The 21 Irrefutable Laws of Leadership: Follow Them and People Will Follow You, 25th Anniversary Edition. p. 237

Becoming a Leader: Becoming Yourself

 

The more I read and analyze this statement, the more the deeper meaning starts to reveal itself to me.  I can't tell you how many times I have advised people over the years who have asked what they should do going into an interview for a leadership position or have just landed their first leadership position.  "Just be yourself."  At the time that seemed to be sound advice.  My rationale was that they did not want to present themselves to be someone whom they were not, nor put on a phony display.  They wanted to find an environment that would be healthy and one where they could develop, be productive, and be happy and satisfied.  They needed to find a good match.  This is critical!

I still think this is sound advise, but I am beginning to believe that I gave the wrong advice for the right reasons.

Read this quote again. 

Now read it again.

It does NOT say "Becoming a leader is synonymous with being yourself."  It says "Becoming a leader is synonymous with becoming yourself."  Hmmm... big difference in meaning there!  Being is present tense; Becoming is future tense.  Being yourself equals 'this is who I am'; whereas, Becoming yourself equals "this is who I will become'.  If you unpack this quote and dissect it, you begin to see the deeper meaning.  At least I did!

Both becoming a leader and becoming your self is a process.  The simple part is that leadership development is tied to self development.  The more you develop yourself, the more you become who you want and need to be.  The difficult part is that self development, or becoming, is indeed a process that takes focused effort over time, and that is hard!

I am a big one for going to the source if you want the most accurate and useful information.  In his classic leadership book On Becoming a Leader, Warren Bennis goes into detail on how to 'become yourself'.  In the chapter Knowing Yourself (pp. 49-66), he unpacks the steps in what he calls the four lessons of self-knowledge.

1) You are your own best teacher

As we have discussed before, leaders are learner and leaders are readers.  Bennis takes it a step further (backed by academic research) to say that leaders' learning has to become an intrinsic quality and once that happens, leaders will direct their own education and development.

2) Accept responsibility.  Blame no one.

Effective leaders accept the responsibility for their own development.  It is up to them and if it does not happen it is not anyone else's fault.

3) You can learn anything you want to learn.

In my humble opinion, one of the sharpest and brightest CEO's in America today is best selling author Chris Brady.  Brady was (is) a successful entrepreneur and business man and a best selling author.  Literally, almost overnight through a series of events, he became the CEO of a fledgling company that he helped found.  He had no aspirations to be CEO and, by his own admission, was ill prepared for such a Herculean task.  So what did he do?  He chose to learn.  He read everything he could get his hands on about successful CEOs and the tasks required of them.  He put himself on an aggressive personal develop plan and became Chris Brady the successful CEO, and not just Chris Brady the entrepreneur and best selling author.  He made a choice and it paid off.  Today, the company is a multi-million dollar debt free company well on its way to being a multi-billion dollar company.  He wanted to learn!

4) True understanding comes from reflecting on your experience.

Self reflection is a critical habit of effective leaders.  We will all mistakes, but the key is what we do with those mistakes.  Effective leaders will self reflect and ask themselves what the lesson was that needed to be learned.  This is a powerful tool that far too many leaders neglect!

So, my new advise to those just starting their leadership journey will change slightly, but with a huge difference in meaning.  Instead of 'Just be yourself', my advise will be 'Make sure this is a place where you can become yourself'!  It's that simple, and that difficult!

Leaders Serve

Servant Leadership is a growing field of academic study with entire leadership conferences and organizations dedicated to its development and understanding.  It has become very 'in' and stylish, almost to the point of being chic.  Don't get me wrong, servant leadership is a powerful concept and I truly believe that the most effective leaders are servants first in that their responsibility is to serve their team and its members.  I am; however, very concerned that it has become almost blasé to the point where it is not really understood what it truly means to be a servant leader and to serve other as their leader.

I would posit that true servant leadership starts as an attitude.  It is a mindset, it is a world view, it is a set of lenses from which to view the world.  In a sense, it is a calling.  Servant leaders operate from a standpoint that their purpose is to serve people one person at a time.  History has a plethora of leaders whom we would call servants: Jesus of Nazareth, Harriet Tubman, Abraham Lincoln, Mother Teresa, Mahatma Gandhi, Martin Luther King, Jr., Nelson Mandela, and the list goes on.  They were either leaders who served or servants who led; or both!  Serving was in their DNA!

That then begs the question, "Are servant leaders just born?".  I would argue NO.  While the above list would seem to support the proposition that servant leaders are born, one only has to read Louis Fletcher's The Life of Mahatma Gandhi to understand the transformation that Gandhi underwent to become the icon that is almost revered today.  The same can be said for almost anyone else on this list.  Today there is overwhelming consensus that leaders are and can be made.  The Great Man theory of leadership has been all but debunked over time.

Serving is an essential component of leading.  It is not complicated.  It can be developed through deliberate actions with the right heart and attitude.

I have shared this story before but revisit it here as it is pertinent to the point I am making.

Arguably the greatest coach of all time in any sport, and most certainly college basketball, was the late John Wooden.  Coach Wooden is famous for his 10 NCAA National Championships, 88 victories in a row, and his iconic Pyramid of Success.  Coach Wooden was THE MAN!!!  And yet, he was a very humble servant who believed that he did not coach basketball as much as he developed young men of character who played basketball.  It would not have been surprising if he had become somewhat inflated with his own success and self importance, and yet he didn't.  Coach Wooden instilled in his players that if they did their best and gave 100 % consistently throughout practice and games, the winning would take care of itself.

Coach Wooden's UCLA teams won 10 NCAA National Basketball championships in 12 years between 1963 and 1975 including 7 in a row between 1967 and 1973,  In that span, the Bruins won an astounding 88 games in a row.  Impressive.  Wooden was a natural!  Not so fast...  Coach Wooden's first season at UCLA was the 1948-49 season.  From 1948 to 1963 UCLA was competitive, but not dominant.  Coach Wooden was molding a program.  He was teaching and modeling success that would and did pay off in the end.  So why did I give you that extensive back ground on this great coach?  During his time at UCLA, especially in the early years, it was not uncommon to find Coach Wooden sweeping the gym floor!  Why??  According to him, "because it needed to be done.".  Let that sink in... the greatest coach of all time was frequently found sweeping the gym floor because it needed to be done.  It was not beneath him.  He served and did what needed to be done.  That is servant leadership!

So my challenge is this: ask yourself how can you serve?  What needs to be done that you can do?  How can you help and support your team and its individual members.  Be sincere... WANT to help and serve and you will be amazed at the results.  

Servant leadership is effective leadership!