Relationships Make You or They Break You

 

I have written repeatedly on the importance or having the ability to build positive relationships.  It is essential.  I did a series of posts unpacking Relationships in my discussion of Brady and Woodward's Trilateral Leadership Ledger.

I believe, as Maxwell states, that your relationships, or lack thereof, will make you or break you.  I know that personally there are things that I have done over the course of my career that I didn't particularly want to do, but, I did them due to the relationship that the person asking me to do it had built with me.  I did it for them, not for the organization or for the sake of the task.  It was the relationship that made the difference.

Sadly, too many leaders equate positive relationships to smiles and superficial kind words.  While they are important, we all have know people who were 'nice' and yet you would not go out of your way to cross the street to greet them.  We also all have known and worked with toxic people.  They were abrasive, rude, cold, and mean.  Not a great formula for building a positive relationship.  In both cases, building a meaningful relationship with them would be, at best, a challenge.

The inability to establish a meaningful relationship can happen for a variety of reasons.  Relationships require trust.  Relationships require genuine caring.  Relationships require communication.  Relationships require  authenticity.  Relationships require time.  And the list goes on.  A lack, or violation, of any one of these can damage a relationship, often beyond repair.  Relationships can be fragile and require hard work.  The effective leader understands that building a relationship is a long term process, not a short term event.  It is a marathon, not a sprint.

Frequently people will ask, "Can I really learn to be a leader?".  I believe the answer is a resounding YES!  The next question is the essential question..."How?".  I would argue that the first step is to get very good at building authentic, meaningful, lasting relationships.  That will set you on road to effective leadership development and will truly make you or break you!

Encouraging People

 

 

 

Encouraging People is the next quality that Brady and Woodward include in the Trilateral Leadership Ledger's factor of Relationships.

The Merriam-Webster Online Dictionary defines encouraging as: giving hope or promise.

Effective leaders understand the value of encouraging the members of their team.  People want and need a cheerleader, an advocate, and someone who truly believes in them and their abilities.

In her book Balcony People, Joyce Landorf Heatherley presents two types of people: Balcony People (affirmers) and Basement People (evaluators).  In reverse order, the Basement People, or evaluators are quick to criticize and find fault.  Nothing is ever good enough and no one can do it right.  They are constantly negative and pessimistic. Given a choice, people would rather not be around them.  On the other hand, the Balcony People, or affirmers, are quick to offer sincere praise and encouragement.  They always look for the good (and inevitably find it) in every situation.  They are positive and optimistic.  They are a people magnet as they make others feel good about themselves.

Effective leaders are Balcony People, plain and simple!

The effective leader will encourage, nurture, and support everyone on their team.

Chris Brady & Orrin Woodward: "Launching a Leadership Revolution."  Business Plus. New York. p.97