Leaders Serve

Servant Leadership is a growing field of academic study with entire leadership conferences and organizations dedicated to its development and understanding.  It has become very 'in' and stylish, almost to the point of being chic.  Don't get me wrong, servant leadership is a powerful concept and I truly believe that the most effective leaders are servants first in that their responsibility is to serve their team and its members.  I am; however, very concerned that it has become almost blasé to the point where it is not really understood what it truly means to be a servant leader and to serve other as their leader.

I would posit that true servant leadership starts as an attitude.  It is a mindset, it is a world view, it is a set of lenses from which to view the world.  In a sense, it is a calling.  Servant leaders operate from a standpoint that their purpose is to serve people one person at a time.  History has a plethora of leaders whom we would call servants: Jesus of Nazareth, Harriet Tubman, Abraham Lincoln, Mother Teresa, Mahatma Gandhi, Martin Luther King, Jr., Nelson Mandela, and the list goes on.  They were either leaders who served or servants who led; or both!  Serving was in their DNA!

That then begs the question, "Are servant leaders just born?".  I would argue NO.  While the above list would seem to support the proposition that servant leaders are born, one only has to read Louis Fletcher's The Life of Mahatma Gandhi to understand the transformation that Gandhi underwent to become the icon that is almost revered today.  The same can be said for almost anyone else on this list.  Today there is overwhelming consensus that leaders are and can be made.  The Great Man theory of leadership has been all but debunked over time.

Serving is an essential component of leading.  It is not complicated.  It can be developed through deliberate actions with the right heart and attitude.

I have shared this story before but revisit it here as it is pertinent to the point I am making.

Arguably the greatest coach of all time in any sport, and most certainly college basketball, was the late John Wooden.  Coach Wooden is famous for his 10 NCAA National Championships, 88 victories in a row, and his iconic Pyramid of Success.  Coach Wooden was THE MAN!!!  And yet, he was a very humble servant who believed that he did not coach basketball as much as he developed young men of character who played basketball.  It would not have been surprising if he had become somewhat inflated with his own success and self importance, and yet he didn't.  Coach Wooden instilled in his players that if they did their best and gave 100 % consistently throughout practice and games, the winning would take care of itself.

Coach Wooden's UCLA teams won 10 NCAA National Basketball championships in 12 years between 1963 and 1975 including 7 in a row between 1967 and 1973,  In that span, the Bruins won an astounding 88 games in a row.  Impressive.  Wooden was a natural!  Not so fast...  Coach Wooden's first season at UCLA was the 1948-49 season.  From 1948 to 1963 UCLA was competitive, but not dominant.  Coach Wooden was molding a program.  He was teaching and modeling success that would and did pay off in the end.  So why did I give you that extensive back ground on this great coach?  During his time at UCLA, especially in the early years, it was not uncommon to find Coach Wooden sweeping the gym floor!  Why??  According to him, "because it needed to be done.".  Let that sink in... the greatest coach of all time was frequently found sweeping the gym floor because it needed to be done.  It was not beneath him.  He served and did what needed to be done.  That is servant leadership!

So my challenge is this: ask yourself how can you serve?  What needs to be done that you can do?  How can you help and support your team and its individual members.  Be sincere... WANT to help and serve and you will be amazed at the results.  

Servant leadership is effective leadership!

Leaders Create a Healthy Environment

If you have been around long enough, you will have experienced a variety of work cultures and environments: some good, some not so good!  The good ones are fairly easy to identify.  People want to be there and work there and they feel good about the place and the people with whom they work.  The not so good ones breed complaining, apathy, anxiety, stress, tension, and/or a variety of other negative feelings and emotions.  They cause people to really not want to be there.

There is a general consensus among leadership pundits that the leader is, at least in part, responsible for the culture and work environment.  Effective leaders strive to create a work place where people feel valued, important, and productive.  This is a win-win.  On the one hand, people who feel positive about their work environment will be more productive, will work harder, and will strive to do their best and go the extra mile to get things done.  The other side of this is that the leader and the organization benefit by having higher productivity and a stellar reputation.  It becomes a place where the best and the brightest want to go to work and be part of a winning team.

As a leader it is your responsibility to create a positive environment.  This does not mean that everybody always gets their way.  I once worked for a supervisor whom I greatly respected because of the environment that was created.  I did not agree with every decision that was made by them, but, I ALWAYS felt that I was heard.  That's leadership.  That's creating a positive environment.  That is what it is all about!

Leaders are Helpful

In recent years there have been countless volumes of books and articles written on leadership.  Even the noted management guru Peter Drucker who, in his early writings downplayed the importance of leadership in favor of strong management, came to posit that strong leadership had a much more important role than he had previously indicated.  The field is now rich with leadership practitioners such as John C. Maxwell, Simon Sinek, Orrin Woodward, Chris Brady, and Jack Welch, to name a few, and leadership academics such as Warren Bennis, Carol S. Dweck, Angela Duckworth, Paul Hersey, James M. Kouzes, Barry Z. Posner and many others all contributing to the body of knowledge on leadership and/or some component of leadership development.

Yet, effective leadership alludes too many individuals and organizations.  Many individuals continue to ascend to leadership positions for all the wrong reasons.  They may be ego driven, seeking greater financial gain, craving a sense of increasing power, or been in the wrong place at the wrong time and had a position 'dumped' on them that was unwanted and for which they were not ready.

As we continue to unpack our understanding of effective leadership, I will continue to deal with leadership components and issues one by one.  In some cases there will be patterns and a clear connected path; in other cases it may seem that I am just pulling items at random.  Both will be true.

Today, a friend and colleague sent the above meme to me with the note "Here's one for u to post".  The more I looked at this simple message, the more the deeper meaning of the message hit me. The graphic below does a good job of introducing the concept of recognizing the difference between a boss and a leader.

I want to concentrate on the top graphic.  We have all had bosses who made it very clear that we worked FOR them and not WITH them.  They dictated tasks, rarely gave credit, hardly ever said thank you, and created a tense, if not toxic, work environment.  To be the BOSS they had to be tough!  Contrast that with the leaders with whom it has been our privilege to work.  They always ask for things to be done, quickly give credit and take blame, frequently offer sincere thanks, and always seek to create a caring and nurturing work environment.  They are there to help and support.  To be the LEADER they were by nature helpful!

Effective leaders build relationships, gain trust, and create a healthy work culture and environment where people feel valued and appreciated.  They are all about we and not me.

Aim to be that leader!

 

Reading Like a Leader

 

Previously I made the point that reading as a leader is different.  Leaders read to grow and develop, not just to be informed.  This requires reading through a different lens, so to speak, that is, reading through a leader's lens.

 

 

The best book I have ever read on reading as a leader is Turn the Page: How to Read Like a Top Leader.  If you have not read it, I highly recommend that you do.  Here is a link where you can purchase it.

 

While I will not outline the entire book here, I will offer these highlights that made a tremendous difference to me.

1. Leaders read differently.

Leaders are less concerned with the mere knowledge of a million facts than they are with the internalization and application of real principles and solutions.  Leaders read to learn what they need to know, do, or feel, regardless of the author's intent or words.  As they read, they search for answers to questions, great examples of leadership, and whatever else they may need in their leadership journey and mentorial relationships.... Leaders see past the words and read with the specific intent of finding truth and applying it directly in their own lives. (1)

 

2. Write in your books.

 

This was a hard one for me as I have always revered books and treated them as items of very high value.  Writing in them seemed wrong as I felt that I was somehow desecrating the book.  I was wrong.  Reading is NOT a one way static activity: I read the book; I get information.  Rather, leaders know that reading is, in fact, an interactive process of receiving and giving.  Top leaders read, underline, highlight, and make notes in the margins.  I came to understand that this was not desecration but rather an essential practice for leadership development.

3. Argue with the author

Too many people read books and take the content as gospel.  Leaders read to learn and broaden their minds, but that does not mean that they always have to agree with everything they read.  It is possible to read something, ponder and consider it, and conclude that the author is wrong!  The important key here is the 'ponder and consider' step.  Leaders know and accept that there are differing views; they also know that they do not have to agree with them all.  I have read countless books where I disagreed with some of all of the author's content.  I grew, as it caused me to think through my belief system and strengthened the logic of my position.

4. Reading provides mentors

If you read enough, you start to develop a list or authors who literally speak to you.  These authors become mentors.  There are times when I read something from one of my favorite authors that I just know that they were writing it to and for me: well not really, but it does seem like it because the impact is so powerful and poignant.  My favorite authors include John C. Maxwell, Orrin Woodward, Chris Brady, Simon Sinek, David McCullough, and Theodore Sizer.  Personally, I love reading biographies.  I find the lessons from history are legion.  Recently I have been reading works by Peter Drucker.  Drucker was brilliant but, to me, an acquired taste.  I don't think I was ready for him earlier in my life and career, but now am at a point where I can appreciate the utter genius of his thoughts and writings.  You should and will have the same experiences, but only if you read, and read regularly!

I could go on and on with nuggets from this book.  It is a short book (142 pages) and can be easily read in an afternoon, but you shouldn't!  Don't just read it, study it, reread it, digest it, reread it, internalize it, and then reread it!  If you implement the principles found in this this book, it WILL make you a better leader!

(1) Turn the Page: How to Read Like a Top Leader pg.15

Leaders are Readers

In my previous post I submitted that effective leaders are constantly learning.  I stated that leaders are readers and that I would cover that in detail in this post, so here we go!

The relationship between reading and success is well documented.

 

-- When asked for the key to his success, Warren Buffet is quoted as saying "I just sit in my office and read all day."

 

-- Teddy Roosevelt's reading habits are, if not a bit exaggerated, legendary.  It is reported that he read at least a book or two a day.  Whether or not this is true, the fact remains he was an avid reader and credited much of his success to reading.

-- When asked how he learned to build a rocket, entrepreneur and SpaceX founder Elon Musk is reported to have replied "I read books.".

-- Abraham Lincoln had only one year of formal education, yet, taught himself through reading.

 

Pulitzer Prize winning author David Herbert Donald in his biography of Lincoln relates:

Even more important was the ability to read.  Once he got the hang of it, he could never get enough.  "Abe was getting hungry for book[s]," Dennis Hanks recalled. "reading every thing he could lay his hands on."  He would carry a book with him when he went out to work, and read when he rested.  John Hanks remembered that when Abraham returned to the house from work, "he would go to the cupboard, snatch a piece of corn bread, take down a book, sit down in a chair, cock his legs up as high ad his head, and read." (1)

 

Donald goes on to describes in detail the importance of reading to Lincoln's eventual success. 

The list of successful people who attribute their success, at least in part, to reading goes on and on!

 

So, if leaders are readers, the question begs to be asked, what should leaders be reading to grow and improve?  What may seem obvious, really is not.  Intuitively, one may think that reading technical materials on one's profession is what it is all about.  Not entirely.  While it is important to stay current on your given field (most professions require continuing education), there is so much more.

 

 

New York Times best selling author and CEO Chris Brady shares that he has multiple books that he is reading at any given time.  He reads a variety of genres: leadership, history, economics, business, classic fiction (he shares that he read all of Tolstoy's War and Peace on his phone), personal development, etc.  Leaders do not limit themselves to one area of reading.  Effective leaders want and need to broaden their horizons by what they read.  As they improve, so will their team and their organization.

Reading is essential to the continuing development of any effective leader.  Leaders read to learn, they read to grow, and they real to lead!

 Next, we will delve into how a leader should read.  Reading as leader is different.  Stay tuned!

(1) Donald, D.H. (1995). Lincoln p. 30

Leaders are Learners

 

 

Leaders are learners... seems logical and intuitive, yet, there are too many people in positions of leadership who really do not set learning as a specific goal or objective.  They will tell you that 'of course' they are always learning, and yet, they more or less just let learning happen without any specific intent.

Effective leaders set an agenda for themselves to learn.  Leaders are readers (we'll cover this in detail in the next posting).  Leaders are always looking for ways to learn.  Association is a key component of learning.  

 

Every American at one point or another, has been introduced to Benjamin Franklin.  The accomplishments of Franklin's life are well know: writer, businessman, entrepreneur, diplomat, scientist, patriot, founding father, and philosophical sage.  The thing that has always impressed me the most about Franklin's in his life long quest for learning and self improvement.  

 

During his printer era, Benjamin Franklin formed a 'club' of like minded fellow tradesmen that was commonly called the Leather Apron Club, also known as the Junto.  In his bestselling biography of Franklin, Walter Isaacson puts it this way:

Franklin's small club was composed of enterprising tradesmen and artisans, rather than the social elite who had their own fancier gentlemen's clubs.  At first, the members went to a local tavern for their Friday evening meetings, but soon they were able to rent a house of their own.  There they discussed issues of the day, debated philosophical topics, devised schemes for self-improvement, and formed a network for the furtherance of their own careers. (1)

 

In his autobiography, Franklin himself writes:

... I had form'd most of my ingenious acquaintance into a club of mutual improvement which we called the JUNTO; we met on Friday evenings.  The rules that I drew up required that every member, in his turn, should produce one of more queries on any point of Morals, Politics, of Natural Philosophy, to be discuss'e by the company; and once in three months produce and read an essay of his own writing, on any subject he pleased.  Our debates were to be under the directions of a president, and to be conducted in the sincere spirit of inquiry after truth, without fondness for dispute, or desire for victory... (2)

 

Franklin's quest for learning and self improvement were unending.  Franklin went on to develop his 13 Virtues, which he would work on throughout his life.  Franklin was a leader who understood that leaders are always learning and that learning is a lifelong endeavor. 

 

 

To be truly effective, leaders MUST continue to learn.  The great leaders have a learning plan that is a designed part of their regular routine.

 

(1) Isaacson, W. 2003. Benjamin Franklin: An American Life p. 55 

(2) Franklin, B. 1996/1868 The Autobiography of Benjamin Franklin p. 45 (Dover.Thrift.Editions)

Trust

 

Trust.  Trust is that critical component of character that takes a very long time to establish, can be instantly destroyed and lost, and, frequently, can never be recovered!

If a leader is going to be effective, building trust is essential!  

Stephen M.R. Covey puts it this way:

There is one thing that is common to every individual, relationship, team, family, organization, nation, economy, and civilization throughout the world-- one thing which, if removed, will destroy the most powerful government, the most successful business, the most thriving economy, the most influential leadership, the greatest friendship, the strongest character, the deepest love.

On the other hand, if developed and leveraged, that one thing has the potential to create unparalleled success and prosperity in every dimension of life.  Yet, it is the least understood, most neglected, and most underestimated possibility of our time.

That one thing is trust. (1)

Covey goes on to break down trust into various arenas, what he calls waves, and offers a series of behaviors that are essential to building trust.  If you have not read his book, you should!  Every leader should have this tome in his or her library and read it, and reread, it regularly!

The reality is that trust, or lack thereof, can and will make or break a leader.  In order to lead, I mean really lead, one must establish and have the trust of their team.  

 

 

Trust is one of those things that cannot be demanded of people, it must be earned... and earning it takes time and patience.  The effective leader will work, and work hard, to establish trust.  Trust is a result of the leader's actions, and those actions must be a sincere and deliberate effort to build effective relationships, do the right things to the best of your ability, and to put others first by serving and supporting them.

A leader can only say "Trust me" and have people actually trust them if they have built and earned that trust over time with positive and effective actions.  The leader who neglects to establish trust from their team is finished before they even start.

(1)  Covey, Stephen M.R., The Speed of Trust:The One Thing That Changes Everything  p.1

Admit Your Mistakes

 

None of us are perfect.  

We all make mistakes.

In my entire leadership journey, I have yet to meet someone who would verbally argue with these two statements.  Everyone would agree, these statements are true.  None of us are perfect and we all make mistakes!

And yet, how many of us have worked with people in positions of leadership who either did not have the capacity, or just flat out refused to admit their mistakes?  Indeed, we have all been there, and it is incredibly frustrating.  While these so called leaders will give lip service to being an imperfect human, they just will not admit when they are wrong or when they have made a mistake.  Why is that?

I would argue that, in their minds, there may be a couple of reasons:

1) Admitting mistakes is a sign of weakness and undermines their position of authority.

The faulty thinking here should be obvious.  The inability and/or unwillingness to admit mistakes and take responsibilities for errors is what will ultimately undermine a person's standing as a leader.  Frankly, it is a character issue.  If you cannot be honest with your team, and with yourself, about your mistakes, than you cannot be an effective leader.

2) Deep seeded self doubt that is over compensated for by a sense of superiority and perfection.  Far too many people in positions of leadership either consciously or unconsciously suffer from what in known as the 'imposter syndrome'.  These people feel inadequate and inferior to their peers and others in positions of leadership and feel like they really don't belong in the position that they hold so they MUST prove themselves by always being right.  The sad reality is that most members of a team will be much more forgiving and compassionate to someone who is upfront and honest over someone who is obstinate about never being wrong.

Effective leaders have the ability to say, "You know what?  I was wrong."  or "Hey, I blew that one."  People will give a lot of grace and support to the leader who is transparent and 'real' with them and will admit their mistakes.

Leaders Don't Know It All

 

Effective leaders know and embrace the fact that they will not always have all the answers.  Additionally,  they will surround themselves with people who obviously know more about some things than they do.

In his classic book, The Magic of Thinking Big, David Schwartz shares this story about Henry Ford:

One time Henry Ford was involved in a libel suit with the Chicago Tribune. The Tribune had called Ford an ignoramus, and Ford said, in effect, “Prove it.”
The Tribune asked him scores of simple questions such as “Who was Benedict Arnold?” “When was the Revolutionary War fought?” and others, most of which Ford, who had little formal education, could not answer.
Finally he became quite exasperated and said, “I don’t know the answers to those questions, but I could find a man in five minutes who does. (1)

... and Ford built an automobile empire.  You man have heard of it... it's called the Ford Motor Company!  

Ford understood that he did not have to have all the answers and did not need to know everything, he just needed to know where and how to find the information.

Far too many people in positions of leadership fail to understand that effective leaders are best when they bring out the best in others.  If the leader don't know something and someone else on their team does, they want to tap into that expertise.  This does two things: first, it provides the missing information and, second, it boosts the self worth of the person who was asked.  People are far more apt to contribute if they feel appreciated and are empowered to step forward without the risk of being ignored or worst, berated.

Strong effective leaders tap into the collective knowledge, talent, and expertise of each individual team member in order to strengthen the entire team!
 

(1) Excerpt From
The Magic of Thinking Big
David J. Schwartz
https://books.apple.com/us/book/the-magic-of-thinking-big/id917780006

 

Leaders know, go, and show

 

When done right, leadership is a complex practice that has a simple road map.

1) A Leader knows the way: the leader sets the vision and direction for the team and the organization and is thinking and planning way ahead of the crowd.  The effective leader is thinking five to ten years in the future and planning on how to get there.  The effective leader can not only create a vision for the future, they can develop a plan on how to get there.

2) A leader goes the way: once the leader has created the vision, communicated the vision and developed the plan, they set out to implement the vision and the plan.  The effective leader takes action.  They are task oriented and model a strong work ethic.  They are doers!

3) A leader shows the way: not only does the effective leader take action, they bring their team along with them.  They bring the team together and, by their example, shows the team how the vision and plan can be implemented.

By following this simple road map, the complex practice of leadership can net amazing results!

Leadership is NOT a Title of Position

More and more, far too many people aspire to positions of leadership for all the wrong reasons.  They seek power and authority and personal dominance.  They are into what academics call position power.  The American Psychological Association (APA) Dictionary defines 'position power' as:

a capacity to influence others based on their acceptance that the influencer occupies a formal position in the organization or group that gives them the right to make decisions and to demand compliance. In other words, the power is associated with the position itself and is not dependent on the person in that position.

This is NOT leadership.  I would argue that anytime someone uses their position, and only their position, to compel and/or mandate that something get done or that a certain direction be taken, they are not leading.  Effective leaders who occupy a position of authority do not need to use their position to see that things get done.  They use their influence that has been built over time through trust and respect (see my post from two days ago).

I believe that people who aspire to a position of authority simply to gain position power fall into one of two categories:

1) They are terribly insecure.  For whatever reason, they have a deep seeded inferiority complex fueled by severe insecurities and a lack of self image and self worth.  They need the position to validate their existence and are extremely threatened by anyone who dares to challenge them.  They hide all of this under the cloak of the title.  "Do it because I said so: I am the _________ (fill in the position title)."  They either have chosen not to develop as a leader or are so deeply insecure that they truly believe that they cannot develop the skills that we know effective leaders possess.

2) They are blatantly Narcissistic.  Everything, and I mean EVERYTHING, is about them.  They are what matters and the organization and its members are merely tools to be used to achieve personal gains.  Sadly, we see this in every arena of leadership whether it's politics, business, education, coaching, ministry, etc.  The first line in Rick Warren's #1 best selling book (all time sales are second only to the Holy Bible) A Purpose Driven Life is "It's not about you.".  It is just the opposite for this type of person.  It IS all about them.  Everything revolves around them, and if you get in their way or cross their path, they are ruthless in chopping you down and doing everything in their power to destroy you.

Both of these cases lead to highly dysfunctional organizations.  I have seen it over and over, both as an insider who suffered the pain of lack of leadership by both of these types and as an outside observer watching an organization impose from lack of leadership because of both of these types.  The wrong person ascends to an organizational position that needs a committed strong leaders and the organization falters, the culture becomes toxic, the best and brightest leave, and those who remain withdraw and switch into survival mode.  Eventually the organization implodes and either dissolves or takes years to recover.  In either case, it is a blatant lack of effective leadership caused by a person gaining a position for all the wring reasons.

The truly effective leader is the antithesis of the person who seeks a title for position power.

 

Listening as a Leadership Skill

Have you ever had a conversation with someone for whom you worked and you just knew they were not listening to you?  They were physically in the room with, you but it was obvious that their mind and attention were a million miles ways.  Or, perhaps, they were listening, but not to hear you and understand but to better prepare their comeback and reply to you.  In either case, you leave disheartened and frustrated.  We have all been there.  

Much has been written about listening as a skill, the role listening plays in the communication process (my late wife would often tell me that she did not want me to do anything when she was venting, she just wanted me to LISTEN!), and the role of listening in leadership.  A nice article on the subject is here.  My purpose here is not to provide a tutorial on listening nor to provide one of the many step by step processes for active listening.  You can look that all up.  My purpose is to just emphasize the fact that leaders NEED to listen, really LISTEN.  Too many don't!

  

 

Yesterday I wrote about respect.  Listening, real listening, is a sign of respect to another person.  As we covered yesterday, respect is earned.  One giant step toward that is developing the skill and habit of listening.  Hear and understand what people are sharing with you.  Discern what it is that they want or need.  Not everyone wants you to fix something.  Some just want to be heard.  But, those who DO want you to fix something need to leave feeling that they have been heard.  I frequently use the example of a former supervisor of mine.  I did not always agree with the decision that was made (that is just leadership), but I ALWAYS felt heard.  I never left a conversation felling like I had been blown off, just humored, or completely ignored.  When people feel heard, they feel empowered, even if the outcome does not go their way.

 

There are several tried and true best practices that leaders can employ to help them better understand and to let people know that you are really listening to them:

 

1) Take Notes (if appropriate)  Depending on the context of the conversation, writing things down so you don't forget and so the person you are talking with sees that you are taking them seriously is a great practice.

 

2) Repeat back what you just heard.  I have to admit that I used to struggle with this one.  "What I heard you say is that..." always sounded too scripted and formula driven for me.  I was wrong.  While I personally adjust the wording, repeating what you think you just heard does two things: a) it communicates that you were in fact listening, and b) it verifies the information that you received.  Over the years there have been many times that I have done this only to have the other person tell me that I really got it wrong.  This gave them the chance to clarify what it was that they wanted to communicate and gave me the opportunity to REALLY understand what they were saying to me.

 

3) Ask them "What is it you need from me?"  This does a couple of things: a) it clearly clarifies what it is that they want.  Frequently I have asked this only to have the other person tell me "Oh nothing, I just needed to get it off my chest." and b) it gives both of you a clear path forward and defines next steps.  This gives you the opportunity to respond in a positive manner and set expectations.  This is very powerful in that both of you leave without any false expectations of what should happen next.

 

In summary, in order to be effective, leaders must listen.  Listening does not necessarily mean acquiescence, but acknowledgement that they have been heard and that they are valued.  As a leader, you must not only value the members of your team, you must let them know that you value them.  Listening to them is a great first step!!
 

Leaders Must Earn Respect in order to Lead at a High Level

After too long of a hiatus, I am back.  A dear friend inspired me to jump back into this blog due to a casual conversation we were having about leadership and the idea that much of it boils down to respect.  I agree! 

I am sure that most of us have worked with and/or for 'leaders' who held a position but garnered little to no respect.  If you have read my previous posts on this blog, or if you know me and have read other things that I have posted and written, you know that I feel strongly that too many people in positions of leadership are not really leaders at all, but are just occupying a position for personal, professional, and/or financial gain.  Those motives don't gain respect.

 

Respect is that thing that is necessary for leaders to have to be highly effective.  Respect cannot, I repeat CANNOT, be demanded.  I must be earned.  A leader who has the respect of their people is unstoppable.  The leader who does not have the respect of their people is done before they even start.

Respect comes from relationships, from a person's character, and from a person's work ethic (sound familiar?... if not go back and review my previous posts on the Trilateral Leadership Ledger).  

A word of caution.  Respect does not necessarily mean affection.  Just because you like someone does not mean that you respect them, and vise versa.  Both are nice and optimal, but at the end of the day, respect is far more important.  We all have had colleagues and supervisors who we really liked but really did not respect.  I would argue that affection is nice, respect is necessary!  As a leader you need to earn the respect of your team in order to lead them, support them, and move the team forward.

So, how does one earn respect?  I would posit that it is not that hard.  Step one is to give respect.  If people feel respected they are far more likely to want to perform at an optimal level and they will return the respect.  Step two, have character.  For this, review my previous discussion on character where I was unpacking the TLL.  Step three, just be real.  Be approachable, be authentic, be caring, and above all, be yourself.  People can spot a phony a mile away.  None of us are perfect and we all have areas where we need to grow and improve.  Let your team know that you are aware of this and are working every day to grow and improve.  That is how you earn respect, but only if you are sincere!