Leaders Know When to Apologize

 

 

Effective leaders know when to apologize.  I think the vast majority, if not all, of us would agree that none of us are perfect and we all make mistakes at one point or another.  And yet, we have all encountered that individual who either can't, or won't, bring themselves to admit that they were wrong and then say the simple words "I'm sorry".

This is a fatal flaw for a leader.  The leader who can't, or won't, apologize when they are wrong loses credibility, and loses it very quickly.  People don't trust them because they give off the aura that they are never wrong. That just does not provide the foundation for building a strong, positive relationship.  Effective leaders will apologize when they are wrong.  I will take that a step further and say, and many may disagree with this, that effective leaders will be in a position where they need to apologize even when they are not wrong.

Randy Pausch, of "The Last Lecture" fame, laid out a very simple and effective road map for leaders to follow in his three steps to an apology:

1) Admit that 'What I did was wrong'. 

This flies in the face of the narcissistic 'leader' who is only focused on themselves and sees the world through an 'I am always right' lens.

2) Sincerely share that 'I'm sorry that I hurt you".

This is an important step.  We have all dealt with people who even when they admit they were wrong, are not sorry about it.  Their attitude is 'suck it up cup cake!',

3) Ask 'How do I make it better?'  

Or in other words, 'What can I do to fix this?'.  Many times just the act of asking goes a long way.

The key to all of this is sincerity.  In most cases, an insincere apology is worse than no apology at all.  

Effective leaders understand these key principles: When you are wrong and when you make that inevitable mistake, admit it, regret it, and fix it!